Well, I can’t say that my Creative Wales Award started off swimmingly. In fact, my first attempt at reaching out beyond my current practice as an artist led me to New York. Exciting yes. Bad timing? Absolutely. I hit the city during the worst snow storm they had experienced in years. And Broadway…well Broadway, oh wonderful Broadway decided to shut up shop. The whole of Broadway, dark!!! But fear not. During this down time there was time to reflect. Time to reflect about time. Forced into some alone time, half way across the World with no shows to see, I began to realise just how precious this Award was to me.
What money gives you as an artist is much needed time. We are a breed always hungry for the next piece of creative inspiration, or if I am honest here, the next wage packet. This heightened emotional state, although invaluable to us as artists in order to reach out towards pastures new constantly, renders us into a state of never being able to enjoy the moment, the here and now. We forget to listen to our own tempo rhythms and actualities because those links with other artists are our life blood and our source of inspiration.
Sitting in a bar in New York, (there was nothing else to do), I began to realise that the path that had led me here over the years was actually my starting point. Instead of reaching out to those I feel are better equipped than I at doing my job, or are far more inspirational and accessible than I when trying to instil a sense of enthusiasm and excitement about the creative process, I now had and have the time to look back and gather inspiration from all that I have experienced, the paths I have trod, the small achievements I have made, that have led me here, especially as I try to work more inclusively as a practitioner.
So far, the most important revelation I have had, or epiphany as someone I love dearly would say, is that I am a Mother 1st, a lover and a partner second, and an artist somewhere in between. Those 1st two feed the later, and the more I feed them the more they will feed me as an artist. Take what you will from that, but I guess I have found my drive right there and this little revelation will be all the inspiration I need.
Time gives us perspective, and this perspective will reinvigorate our drive. Priceless.
Thanks you Arts Council of Wales for this time